Tlipt

I am at an Orb concert. It seems they have not turned up or have cancelled at the last minute. Instead we listen to the full 39:09 of their 'Blue Room' single (which admittedly makes for a satisfying enough gig)-

Afterwards and I am racing to catch a bus that will take me to a/the railway station. I just make it and am the last person on board. As I catch my breath I realise the tubular metal handhold I'm gripping just might have a tiny smear of dogsh*t on it (and so therefore might my hand). The two lads who caught the bus only moments before me take an interest and, on closer inspection, they look to have sh*t on their trousers too-

It transpires the bus is going to Beith railway station – I try to work out if that's any good a destination for me – and it arrives in good time-

Unfortunately the driver, a goofy, shuffling, grinning 'dude', has used the Satnav on his phone to take us to OLD Beith railway Station. It is an impressive, imposing Grecian-style ruin, the ancient tracks still visible amidst the great crumbling construct-

The two lads from the bus and I approach a bunch of bored teenagers, all affected attitude and Goth stylings, to ask the route to the new station – it sems the driver('s phone) has failed us and we're on our own. One girl with frizzy blonde hair is willing enough to break the solemn mould to chat while another simply sneers that the station for the “stay-at-homes” is simply over there-

The Orb - Blue Room