Tuesday 24 April 2018

Yuttle


That I had shot and killed Ess Gee's little brother very near to where they stay. It was a total accident. How I had to go and tell his family. Seeing their despair and anger. Really quite frightening and horrible-

Saturday 21 April 2018

Pirglallap


Long queue of women down a dog-leg stairwell. At the top there was a push door. Here, near to the front, was (Anne Charleston,) the woman who played Madge in Neighbours. Travelling down the stairs I passed her and, desperate to say her real name I simply blurted out "Madge!" in recognition. She looked startled and began to grumble in her trademark throaty voice to the women around her. Further down the steps I met my mother, who was younger here, and she urged me to go back up, reminding me that I knew Madge's real name. Convinced I could recall her name for sure I made my way to the landing below, pushing past all the smartly dressed ladies. But as soon as I saw Madge ahead of me and she, in turn saw me, I anxiously yelled "Helen!" with enough vigour to make it sound wholly sincere. Madge tutted in her inimitable style, letting her mouth drop open in disdain. I ran back down the stairs, more squashed by my surroundings than before. My mother again reassured me and on my third attempt I did indeed manage to exclaim "Anne!"-

Monday 16 April 2018

Gluntiff


On a Glasgow bus with Aye Ell. Riding along when he suddenly presses the 'emergency stop' button (on the upright pole in front of our seats). I ask him why he did this, thinking he just wanted to stop and has made a mistake. Then aware there's an ambulance with a (dead) body on a gurney straight ahead of us. The bus has gone and I am simply viewing this scene with no obstructions. The body's head is all chipped, mashed on top and bloody. Then it feels like we are back on the bus which is circling, as if the ambulance is sitting on a roundabout, this scene. I feel like I want to go. Then, out the environs of the bus again I'm aware Aye Ell and I are watching another similar scene. This time a body arches and twitches, almost attempting to stand up, bent double, bracing feet and forehead on the ground, while the emergency services look on and we again circle round. This action is horrifying yet fascinating to watch-

Wednesday 11 April 2018

Tulraddick


At the theatre. I have my St. Etienne beanie hat on. Very sweaty. Got in Aye Dubya's mum's car with Enn (?). Didn't know whether to take the minibus thing back. Car stopping and starting. Made a run for it when car was stopped. Bridges. Chased by Aye Dubya's mum and her friend, Mrs Bee. Small, traditional railway-style bridge, children playing-

I set off a huge bomb but nothing happened. At the end of the bridge two people waiting, Bee Wai and someone else. Shot them but it didn't hurt. Got through to the big bridge. Elaborate structure with five giant pill-like objects on it-


I got about 1/3 of the way across it. Nel (?) had been caught. I used the bannisters to slide down then run up the other side to reach the pills, lying on the first three. Thinking I had to take them in some sort of order, or touch them in some sort of order. Muddled up-

Friday 6 April 2018

Siddule


On a train with Kay Ess. Glad all the seats faced the same way when I got on. A young boy of 5-6 came and sat next to me while Kay Ess sat somewhere else. His carer/sister, a blonde pretty girl with copious freckles, sat in the seats in front, causing me to become embarrassed by turning to communicate with her young charge. I was also conscious of the train moving through points systems and just missing others travelling fast in the opposite direction. We stopped at some beach, akin in many ways more to a steep lochside, where the wee boy had decided to kind of team up with me. There ran a fine causeway from this point out to a wee island. We were waiting on row boats to a bigger, less accessible island that rose sharply from the water, a mass of dense, humid green. A whale jumped in the water inches from the shore. It then brought its head up very close to us, mouthing in a friendly manner to Kay Ess. Someone's hand appeared from the top right into my field of vision to take a photo on a mobile phone. More phones appeared. I took out my own, but to my intense frustration I had somehow locked it and could not get it to respond. I was still punching at the buttons, returning to this source of upset as we rowed out to the large island-

Sunday 1 April 2018

Yertle


Sitting with my Mother, Tee Gee and Jay Eff (both of whom I just could not quite place in time - were they in their late teens/early 20's or now around the same age as myself?) talking about primary school. I was describing, and impressing all of them, with my recollections - as to how between the two principal buildings there was a flower bed and the planted rose bushes spelled out "Kelburn Primary". I could picture this clearly, see the grass playground, the Primary 4-6 building to my left in the foreground and the Primary 1-3 building there in the background. My Mother mentioned a tearoom - this would have been nearby at Scott swing park - and though Tee Gee and Jay Eff were unconvinced, I then sat and described it in as much detail as possible, this single story square building next to the through path. I obsessed over the windows, staring hard at the one in the room we were presently sitting and trying, but not quite, to describe those in the tearoom. I could picture them, but I just could not find the right words. There was a third girl there too - who looked a little like a younger Maya Rudolph - and becoming aware of her she seemed quite upset by these memories even though her mannerisms suggested she was happy-