Tuesday, 2 July 2019


I am being pursued by my old schoolfriend Ay EmmCeeEll, the actress Yvonne Strahovski and the comedian Stephen Merchant. Do I see Ay Emm, I'm not sure? I know he is there, perhaps recognise his voice. They have chased me down a set of narrow corridors and stairwells and somehow, my having outwitted them, they are chasing me back up the same. No sense of any windows or natural light, seems lit by bright artificial office-y lighting. Flooring is a pale flecked vinyl surface with a perimeter trim and a light grey metal paint finish to the stair railings and handrails. Aware that the real world logic of distance and ability is somewhat skewed, actions often not corresponding to the sense of the restricted space-

They are one floor behind me - I can hear their voices. At each (dogleg) stair Stephen Merchant leans out into the narrow stair void and looks straight down towards the ground (seemingly to ascertain some sort of measurement for Ay EmmCeeEll). Every time he does this I lean out beyond the overlooking handrail and spit at him (which suggests we are in fact bunched quite close together). At this point, after a few misses, I manage to spit on target, landing a perfect wet glob right on the back of his neck. They are all disgusted by this, Stephen the most, putting his hand to the back of his neck-

Again, another jump/glitch in the real world logic of space, as I am now on the very top floor, the three of them audibly below me. Only there is no connecting stair between their floor and mine and no railing of any sort at the edge. I find (and dangle) a Tesco shopping trolley over the edge of the floor slab, threatening to drop it. Yvonne Strahovski is visible below, walking out from under the overhang, and stands still, looking up at me. Tense moment as I think I want to drop the trolley on her. She looks at me pleadingly and, as if we both don't want it to happen, I swing the trolley to give it momentum and, letting go, it misses her due to this, crashing into a (sort of) stairwell gap at her back. They are glad as they consider I have no more items at my disposal. And yet I find a small two wheeled shopping trolley (only the bag is not fabric but wrinkled light blue polythene bag-ish) which I know is full of AA batteries. Flash to my mind of a credit card. I accidentally rustle the bag and I can hear this is giving my pursuers pause for thought. I have a feeling I can light these countless batteries one by one, setting fire to them and dropping them onto the others below-

Outside in a car park at the building talking to Gary Oldman (in full 'Commissioner Gordon' mode) as he explains to me why all this is happening-

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